Drifting

From a distance, this sort of looks like the pelt of some animal.  Thank God they put up a label with an arrow to let me know that it is in fact driftwood.  To the uneducated, it seems like any other piece of wood, hanging on a wall next to the fireplace, which they likely use based on the tools.  My tv sits near the fireplace, which coincidentally is why we never use the fireplace.  That and we live in the southern part of TEXAS.  There are maybe 4 days a year when you could really warrant a fireplace.  There are 365 days a year I can really warrant a tv.

Anyway, this piece is a rare piece of driftwood.  5'5" long, a foot at its widest point.  Prime driftwood, total babe magnet, and the low price of $200.  I thought about changing the phone number to protect the innocent, but realized there is no way this guy is innocent of anything.  He uses the piece to lure women in, no doubt.  Total creep. 

So tell me, have any of you ever saw a piece of driftwood and thought "Man, that would look awesome near my mantle!"?  I doubt it, but use that nifty little comment section below and tell me I am wrong.  And if I am, this ad is still hanging in the mail-room, give the guy a call, maybe he'll slash the price.